Names

One night, while Kiasi was driving me out for supper...

Radio DJ : "Hi, and welcome back to our quiz contest... bla bla bla... OK, now, we have our 9th call-us through. Can I know who is this?"

Caller : "Hi, my name is Virginia."

Me : "Huh? Got people's name is Vagina ah?"

Kiasi : "No lah. But Virginia. You listened wrongly liao."

Me : "Oh.. I see."

Kiasi : "But if her name is Vagina, also never mind lah. Because I also know some boys name themselves as Dick."

Me : *ROTFLMAO*

Once Upon A Time In Biology Class

Okay, okay. I get all the questions from the post here, "Why don't use protection, instead?"

Once upon a time in my biology lesson, the teacer taught us about safe sex. Condoms, ligations, you name them...

So...

Teacher : "The weakness of the condom is, might accidentally leak out. Successful chance is only 97%. Which means, 3% of the chances might left the sperms enter the uterus..."

Girl : "Since 1 condom is 97% of success, then why don't use 2 condoms instead? Much safer!"

Boy : "That's why lah, stupid! If use 2 condoms, where got feel?"

Everybody : *LOLFOC*

Deflowered

Me : "Kiasi, Kiasi."

Kiasi : "Apa?"

Me : "You read this case already or not?"

Kiasi : "Oh... This case ah? I'm the first one who read this case. What's up?"

Me : "Wanna ask you hor, if you love a girl lah, will you care that she has already been deflowered?"

Kiasi : "Why not?"

Me : "Then, if had a baby before like that case?"

Kiasi : "Better still, can produce breastmilk already."

Me : *pengsan*

Pump Petrol

Went yumcha with Kiasi at 11.30 p.m...

Me : "Eh, look at your oil tank. E sign comes out already."

Kiasi : "Aiyah, tomorrow morning, when need this car, then pump petrol again loh. What so big deal?"

Me : "You not scare one meh?"

Kiasi : "I only scare if I pump petrol, burglar will steal my Kancil in the midnight."

Me : "So, you mean if you don't pump petrol, burglar won't still your Kancil lah?"

Kiasi : "Will. But even though if got burglar steals my Kancil, due to the limited petrol, the Kancil will die engine somewhere nearby mah."

Me : *pengsan*

Trackback to here.

Random Conversation

One day, I was in campus and SuZen was at LRT Station, I received an SMS from SuZen...

Su Zen : "I want to drive!! Give me your driving license!!"

Me : "I'm currently in Starbuck (Setapak), come and take from me! If got, go get one!"

Su Zen : "Hahahah cannot! I kursus also haven't go =.= you la. Bleh. You got license already a?"

Me : "Then Yupp. I got my license ready, but still don't know how to drive =( You go for the kursus lah. A while only mah."

Su Zen : "Sian la. No mood. Haven't go think about it also sian liao. Donno how to drive then gimme la. I got natural talent to drive just that I no license."

Me : "Aiyah, you also got natural talent to give birth also wut."

Su Zen : "Hahahaha!! Good one! Lol donno la. Haih. No car anyway. Waste breath. Boring la I'm waiting for my senior to pick me up from station to work. Wait so long already. Btw i still owe you a kfc is it? Or you owe me? I forget haha but I know kfc involved."

Me : "Of course you owe me lah. So when are you going to pay me back?"

Su Zen : "Good. Next month la. This month pay I only got half month. Then 90% of it I gave my mom. So, now no maneh."

Me : "Wah, so good girl. I want to work!! Give me your degree!!"

Su Zen : "Ya once in a while I'm good like that. Lolol. Work you head la. Study la you. I want to study also cannot lol jk. I still have to study. Bleh. Practise how to study last minute la. You'll need that skill when you start work, ok?"

Me : "Bleh, you want to study bcoz you want to see hensems only mah."

This conversation was held long time ago (last month).

Why I don't want to get a girlfriend?

Friend : "Why you dowan to get a girlfriend?"

Me : "Dowan lah. Maintenance too high lah."

Friend : *LOL* "Where can you compare a girl with good?"

Me : "Why cannot? They (High maintenance girls) treat us like ATM also what."

First Time See Condom

Yesterday was my first time seeing an exact condom in my life. Serious! Really! No joke! I didn’t expect that!

As I’ve blogged about condom as the greatest invention of all, I’ve seen it on computers and books. But with my real eyes, I never seen this before. Yesterday was really my first time.

The case was like this. As I’m still single, my friend (a girl) would want to introduce me another girl. So, three of us went for a shop at *********** shopping mall.

While we were walking…

Guy : “Excuse me, we are currently doing a survey about AIDS and HIV. Would you want to fulfill our needs?”

3 of us : *look at each other* “Er…. Ok lah.”

Guy : “Thank you very much. Would you like to have a sit here and help us to fill in our form?”

3 of us : *sit down* *take pen* *Scribble scribble survey*

5 minutes later…

3 of us : “Survey done.” *pass up*

Guy : “Can you wait for another minute?”

3 of us : “Anything?”

Guy : “We would like to give you a free small booklet for each.” *pass 3 booklets*

3 of us : “Thanks.” *open booklet and read*

I saw the condom first.

Me : “Certainly, I’ve seen this things somewhere. Can I give it back to you?”

Guy : “Er… hehehe…”

Girls : *shy shy* “Can I give back mine to you too?”

Guy : “OK lah. OK lah.”

I’m still single, and I’m not desire for sax. So, the condom is still useless to me. Thus, I passed it back to that guy.

Where To Get Manties? HERE!!

5xMom said, "Manties is the best present for boyfriends during Valentine's Day."

Kiasi said, "I got no girlfriend. So, who, how and where can I get manties?"

My answer to Kiasi:

Still remember this picture?

Want to get manties?

You can migrate to Indonesia and reside at the seaside, wait for tsunami, and be a victim of that tragedy, and hoping that donors will donate some manties to you.

:P *run away fast fast*